September 2006 Parish News

"A NICHOLS WORTH" - September 18, 2006

   October is almost upon us, and fall feels to be in full swing. It seems a distant memory already that I was away from St. Stephen's for four months on Refresher Leave.
   On Sunday, Aug. 20, I offered my "Top 11 Refreshments From Refresher Leave," a blend of serious and not-so-serious insights into my time away. A sampling includes: No. 1, "Incredible Awe," which is what I felt having not received a single call to ask me a question, nor an e-mail to follow up on an issue or even an update on how things were going! "Do they even know that I've left?" I thought. I worried about parishioners who were ill upon my departure and throughout my leave prayed that you were well and hoped that you knew how much I missed you. Special thanks once again to Fr. John, who served as Pastoral Overseer, members of the Consultative Council, who helped me prepare for the leave and offered ongoing assistance during my time away, and to each and every parishioner for allowing me to absolutely let go and simply relax, renew and get refreshed.
   No. 2, "General overview": first month, an extended vacation where I simply caught my breath; second month, a time for reflection and self-care, including the CREDO conference in May; third month, a time of playing, enjoying and getting incredibly lazy; fourth month, becoming more serious, listening to what the moment is speaking and gearing up for my return.
   No. 4, "Doing Things You Can't Normally Do," like the experience of mowing the lawn on a Sunday morning at 9 a.m. (which I learned to be fruitless because the grass doesn't dry out until at least 11 … you might as well go to church!). I also mentioned the insights of friends who were adjusting to my refresher leave schedule. While at a Saturday evening dinner party, the host remarked, "You guys probably need to get going with services tomorrow?" to which another guest responded, "No, he's on time out!"
   And No. 11, "I Can't Wait To Hear About You." My first Sunday back was simply wonderful. To worship together once again and then head off on the Fisher Cats baseball outing was truly a gift. I so longed to hear all about the "moments" that had transpired and catch up on your lives, to talk with you about what you learned while I was away, to discern what this time apart spoke to us about our time together.
   We have spent quality time unpacking all that has transpired over the last few months. There have been deliberate discussions among the Vestry and Consultative Council. There have been random conversations on the bus to the game or at coffee or at a team meeting. There have been e-mails and conversations with the clergy who provided coverage. We even gathered together for "Morning Musings" and talked in great detail about my time spent in the Diocese of Central Florida during General Convention and the issues facing the Church today.
   In all of this talking and sharing and simply being together, one theme has resonated with me: how healthy St. Stephen's Episcopal Church is. The signs of health are many: open communication and brutal honesty; a collective ownership by lay leaders to manage the day to day activities of the parish; the sharing of ministries and the embracing of newcomers; the vibrancy of our music and worship; the friendly welcome of all (this was remarked upon by all our visiting clergy); the commitment to outreach and assisting those in need; and the genuine love and care that you offer one another. My time away and my time now back with you reminds me of just how special and incredible St. Stephen's truly is.
   The spiritual health that the parish enjoys is a reminder to all of us of our need for healthy and balanced living. On a personal note, in addition to spending extended time with my family, the highlight of my Refresher Leave was attending the CREDO (Clergy Reflection, Education and Discernment Opportunity) conference in Roslyn, Va. It was there that I was given the opportunity to reflect on the overall health of my life and living.
   Key aspects explored included my physical, spiritual, vocational and financial health. I was challenged to develop specific plans to enhance and balance the whole of my life. I departed this 10-day retreat with great excitement and euphoria - "I had a plan to transform our home into a place of healing and healthy living."
   Upon returning to a household that had not spent 10 days on retreat, I filtered in the realities of my life, and a modest and realistic plan for healthy living is emerging. I am jogging again, which offers me great refreshment and clarity of mind. Patti and I continue to discern ways that can bring greater balance to our life. I even introduced "alternative dining" to meal-time. (1. Begin by giving thanks for the animal who gave its life and all those who cultivated the food you are about to eat; 2. Simply smell the food you are about to partake; 3. Taste and savor the flavors; 4. Chew 10 times and delight in the textures; 5. Put your fork down and decide what you want to eat next; 6. Decide what you are feeling. Are you full? If so, stop eating!). As silly and tortuous as it sounds, you will eat slower and savor your food.
   In all seriousness, what I have learned from my time away is that healthy living is about being attentive in all aspects of one's life. For to see God's presence visible in the entirety of our lives, is to be one with our creator. My hope is that as a result of my leave, I am able to give back to you a deeper sense of presence in the moments that we share. I pray that you know just how precious you are to me and to our God. Thank you for giving me the gift of "refreshment," so that I could see with greater clarity God's love and abiding presence before me.
   In closing, I encourage you to join us on Sunday, Oct. 1 as we kick off our church school and adult education offerings. Please read more about our six-week family education program and the Via Media curriculum offered elsewhere in this newsletter. Additionally, Oct. 1 is "Call by Name" Sunday. During the service, parishioners will be invited to volunteer themselves to serve in a variety of ministries and also to name others in the community who they think are particularly skilled to serve as well. Please come and share in these special offerings.
   Peace to you, your loved ones and to our world.
   This is a "Nichols worth."

      Fr. Kevin

      226-0669 or

PARISHIONER PROFILES by Elvia Hetu

We have two new Vestry members-at-large, Barbara Barr and Betty Whinn. Let's see how well we know them.

Barbara Barr
    Barbara sits near the back of the church on the right-hand side. You've probably seen her working at fundraisers sponsored by the Parish Life Guild.
    Barbara was born in Niagara Falls, a city in western New York on the U.S. side of the falls. She was baptized and confirmed at Epiphany Church there, and attended school there through high school.
    She graduated from Ithaca College in New York and obtained her master's degree in business administration at Cornell University in 1976. She first worked in the Boston area and surrounding towns, and then became chief financial officer for a water treatment company in Holliston, Mass.
    It was there that she met Bob. They were married in 1984. They worked for the company and lived in Harvard, Mass., until they moved to New Hampshire in 2000.
    Barbara has been a member of St. Stephen's since that fall and serves in the postcard ministry as director, and in the guild as treasurer.
    Her favorite color is blue, and she's fond of pasta. She loves to read, especially historical fiction, and she enjoys listening to books on tapes while walking.
    Barbara is a certified public accountant in Massachusetts and New Hampshire and is now working for an accounting firm that audits Visiting Nurses Associations all over New England.
    We're lucky to have her working for us, too.

Betty Whinn
    Betty Whinn sits on the left side of the church near the front with her husband, Jim, unless she's serving as Eucharistic Minister that Sunday.
    Betty was born in Sudbury, Ontario, Canada, to Canadian parents of Polish descent and was the oldest of six children, all girls. She came to the United States in September 1961 and became a U.S. citizen on June 24, 1993.
    From her first marriage, Betty has one daughter, Linda, currently living in Aiken, South Carolina, and has three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, all of whom live in New Hampshire.
    Betty was employed by New England Telephone Company and concluded her 30-year career, retiring in 1990 as a personnel administration manager in the public relations department.
    It was while they were both working for New England Telephone in Lawrence, Mass., that Betty met Jim Whinn. They were married in 1975 and will celebrate 32 years of marriage in April 2007. They moved from Massachusetts to Windham, New Hampshire, in 1995, and to Barnstead in 1999.
    Betty was brought up in the Roman tradition. In 1996 she was received into the Episcopal Church by Bishop Thomas Shaw at St. Andrew's Church in Methuen, and attended Christ Church in Andover, Mass. After moving to Barnstead, Betty and Jim chose St. Stephen's as their place of worship.
    At St. Stephen's, Betty has done so much to help. She implemented the postcard ministry program while The Rev. Theresa Gocha served as Interim Priest; became a Lay Eucharistic Minister (EM) in 2001 and serves as an EM and Visiting EM; and is also a member of the Altar Guild. Betty served as a member of the choir, a convocation delegate in 2004-05; a member of Dan Bernier's team, the Music Ministry Leader search team, and Fr. Kevin's Consultative Council.
    She coordinated the purchase of new prayer books and worked with the team which arranged the purchase of the new crèche figures. She also assists in the preparation of the weekly bulletins and is a member of the outreach and worship teams.
    She has volunteered in many great causes over the years and is now serving in the Concord Hospital Compassionate Companion Program. She is president of the Pittsfield/Barnstead Lions Club.
    Betty has a cat named Sydney, and her hobbies include babysitting, baking, gardening, reading, embroidery/counted cross-stitch, and playing cards and games. During the summer months, she and Jim spend time at their summer home on Prince Edward Island in Canada.
    Our new Vestry Member At Large certainly works hard for St. Stephen's. What would we do without her?

BULLETIN BOARD

March 2006 Parish News

"A NICHOLS WORTH" - February 24, 2006

    To the best of my recollection, this is my 12^th "A Nichols Worth.". As I look back and peruse them, so many memories, images and emotions come to mind. Over the last 3-plus years, I have offered my thoughts and musings about topics that I felt were especially poignant or significant. I have written about Sexual Abuse & Safe Church Training, Stewardship and our need to share our Time, Talent and Treasure (Recently, I even added a fourth leg to our Stewardship stool, "Time Away.").
    After the contentious election and consecration of our Bishop, I painstakingly shared why I feel so called to this tradition. There were articles about the envisioning process and how hard it was to undergo change. "Church Home Hunting," Music Ministry, and even quotes from our littlest parishioners made up pieces of "A Nichols Worth" over the years. I snuck in a sports theme on occasion, criticizing my boorish behavior during a Patriots Super Bowl game as well as the impact of giving up sports during Lent. My story about Keaton's first day of school (actually it was all about me) drew the most feedback of any of my stories.
    All in all, "A Nichols Worth" has been about us and me and the world in which we live and walk together. "A Nichols Worth" has been my opportunity to put into words that which is often hard to articulate - my feeling and emotions. It has been my tri-annual blog!
    Blogs are the latest craze. Simply enter the word "blog" into a Google search and you come up with a myriad of options. (And don't confuse "blog" with "bolg" - the Fir Bolg were the fourth wave of invaders to Ireland.) There are "Blogs for America," "Free Blogs," "Cat Blogs" and even "John Kerry for President" blogs. One website states that a blog is basically a journal that is available on the web. The activity of updating a blog is "blogging," and someone who keeps a blog is a "blogger."
    Blogs are typically updated daily, using software that allows people with little or no technical background to update and maintain the blog. Postings on a blog are almost always arranged in chronological order, with the most recent additions featured most prominently.
    I'm not quite sure what to make of this blogging. It sounds to me like something beneficial for the celebrity or the famous among us. After all, the day-to-day activities of Paris Hilton or Donald Trump are in demand.
    I imagine their blogs are probably written by publicists and public relations gurus, as a measure of self-promotion is needed to keep their stars shining brightly. But does anyone really want to read the blog of middle-aged man like yours truly?
    Until this morning, the notion of setting up a blog for use during my Refresher Leave never occurred to me. (Surprisingly, no members of the Consultative Council, who are helping me to prepare for my sabbatical, brought it up.) But if I were to blog, what would I say? What is of interest to the masses, and how much do you share? The phrase "too much information" keeps coming back to me. And then there are the pictures. At my age, adding photos would decrease viewer-ship altogether.
    On a serious note, the use of blogs by young people is receiving considerable scrutiny of late. The practices of the site myspace.com in particular have been dissected as fears about the availability of personal information mount. Parents are reminded once again that they need to monitor what their kids are doing on-line. It is all so confusing and overwhelming for me. To blog or not to blog? That is the new generational question?
    As I embark upon my Lenten Journey and subsequent Refresher Leave soon to follow, I have decided to begin blogging. Starting today, I plan to blog "off-line" with The One who seems the most interested about my comings and goings, the one who listens to me no matter the topic or how misguided the opinion - namely, God.
    And as I keep up my daily musings with my creator, I rest in the certainty that our "discussions" remain private and sacred. For the masses, I will stick to the Sunday Sermon and "A Nichols Worth.".
    I look forward to sharing with you my Refresher Leave musings upon my return in August. Thank you, again, for allowing me this time to rest and wrestle with God.
    Peace to you, your loved ones and to our world.
This is a "Nichols worth".

      Fr. Kevin

PARISHIONER PROFILES by Elvia Hetu

    With Father Kevin soon to embark on his Refresher Leave, let's meet those who will be serving in his place this spring and summer:

Rosalie Richards
    The Reverend Rosalie Richards will serve as our Supply Priest for the first three Sundays in May.
    Rosalie was born in North Platte, Nebraska, but grew up in San Antonia, Texas, and Jefferson City, Missouri.
    She earned her bachelor's degree at Baylor University in Texas, her master's degree at the University of Texas, and her master of divinity degree at the General Theological Seminary in New York.
    Rosalie was ordained Deacon in 1981 at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City and ordained Priest just 15 miles away at her first parish, Grace Church, in the lovely little community of Nyack.
    She then served as Associate Rector in a Hispanic ministry in the South Bronx and as Rector in a bilingual ministry in New Haven, Conn. After running an agency for homeless families, she went back to school.
    She obtained her master of social work degree from Columbia University and then her Ph.D. from the University of Texas School of Public Health.
    Rosalie is now in New Hampshire, which she loves and where she has been serving as a Supply Priest and hoping to return soon to a full-time ministry.
    Her daughter is a senior in high school this year and is busy investigating colleges.
    Rosalie likes yoga and writing and has completed two novels, not yet published. She is presently involved in a non-fiction project.
    We hope she'll enjoy her visit to St. Stephen's, too.

Bill Gannon
    The Reverend Bill Gannon will be with us at St. Stephen's for the first three weeks of June 2006.
    He is a resident of Bedford, N.H. retired from full-time ministry for two and a half years now. He recently completed service as Interim priest at St. James Church in Laconia.
    Bill was born in Manchester and grew up in Concord and Chester, N.H. He graduated from Norwich University in Northfield, Vt. and attended seminary in Austin, Texas.
    He was ordained by Bishop of New Hampshire Charles Hall and his first parish was All Saints in Peterborough, where he served as a Curate. He then became Minister of St. Andrews in West Manchester.
    Later, Bill was a teacher in Groton, Mass., and at St. Paul's School in Concord, and then served as Headmaster for two schools in New York.
    His next change was to go into the insurance business in New York while serving as a Sunday Supply Priest and weekend Interim priest.
    He returned to parish ministry in 1991 in New Jersey and now serves where he is needed in New Hampshire.
    Bill and his wife Barbara have four children and seven grandchildren. His hobby was playing as a jazz musician while in seminary in Texas and later all over New York and New Jersey.
    We are looking forward to his time with us this June.

Robert Stiefel
    The first three weeks in July, Fr. Robert Stiefel will be at St. Stephen's.
    Fr. Robert, who is a retired Parish Priest, lives with his wife, Jennifer, in Dover, N.H. and is now Director of the University Fellowships Office at the University of New Hampshire in Durham.
    Born in Baltimore, Md., he grew up near Chicago and Detroit, and graduated in 1963 from Oberlin College in Ohio.
    After receiving his Ph.D. at Harvard University, he taught for six years at Haverford College in Pennsylvania.
    Fr. Robert and his wife, Jennifer, received their degrees together, the first married couple to do so at Nashotah Seminary near Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
    For the next 10 years, from 1978 to 1987, they served in Denver, Colo. At first, Fr. Robert was head of the Diocesan School of Theology and then Parish Priest at Christ the King Church in Arvada, a suburb of Denver, and Jennifer, a Deacon, worked with the Bishop.
    Jennifer received her Ph.D. at Union Theological Seminary in New York City, and Fr. Robert became Rector of Trinity Church in Asbury Park, N.J. Jennifer spent her weekends with him, and Fr. Robert visited her on his days off.
    In 1991, the couple moved to New Hampshire, where Fr. Robert was Rector of Christ Church, Portsmouth, and Jennifer, a lifelong Deacon, served as a Diocesan Deacon.
    In 2001, Fr. Robert retired as a Parish Priest and became a full-time teacher at the University of New Hampshire as an instructor in the History Department and the Honors Program, having taught there part-time since 1992. He serves as a Supply Priest on Sundays and Jennifer keeps active in her work with the NAACP and in the Black Heritage Trail Project with which she has been working for 10 years.
    We hope Fr. Robert will find us to be attentive students while he is here.

Jennie Gould
    Hospital Chaplain Jennie Gould will be with us the last Sunday in July and the first Sunday in August.
    Jennie lives in Watertown, Mass., and has served at Boston Medical Center going on five years now.
    She was born in San Francisco and soon afterwards her family moved to Charleston, West Virginia, where she grew up.
    Born an Episcopalian, she attended the Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge, Mass. She then attended Boston University to get her Ph.D. in Counseling, Psychology and Religion. While there, she worked part time at an Episcopal Church, counseling centers, substance and alcohol clinics and a methadone clinic.
    In 2002, she became the Chaplain at Boston Medical Center, where she works full time Tuesday through Saturday and is on call four nights a week. Boston Medical Center is a Level I trauma hospital where most accident, shooting and stabbing victims are taken, and Jennie is continually being paged.
    Jennie has a 6-year-old Boxer with whom she walks and runs each day. This winter she tried snowshoeing and found that she loves it.
    We shall certainly enjoy her two weeks with us.

A LENTEN REFLECTION by Fr. John Allen

    The Old Testament and the New Testament give a mixed message. There is the "Gospel of Unconditional Love." In both Testaments, passages say that God is resolutely and passionately committed to us - and in fact, the whole of creation - with a love that will show favor upon us in this life embrace us fully in the next. However, in both Testaments there is another message, which Jeremy Young calls the "Gospel of Conditional Love" in his book, The Cost of Certainty.
    I picked up Young's book at the monastery of St. John the Evangelist last weekend and have not completed it yet. However, Young points to many parts of Scripture and Tradition that speak of God's love as being conditional upon: faith, repentance of sins, proper and regular worship, and good behavior.
    Young claims that Christians, Muslims and Jews hear the mixed messages and become anxious or outright frightened, for their well-being in this life and the next. I think that he has gotten a hold of something. We Christians do get mixed messages from Scripture and Tradition. Some congregations have the good luck to have a Fr. Kevin, who preaches God's love, while acknowledging the darker side of the world we live in.
    However, the chances are that we all have also heard the "Gospel of Conditional Love." This can be reinforced by the times when, as children. we heard things like, "Santa will give you a lump of coal, if you are not good," or "If you are good, you can have a cookie," and things a lot more toxic than that.
    Some people in the three religions of the book try to escape the anxiety or fear generated by life and these mixed religious messages by making believe that they know the formula and are, therefore, guaranteed of good results in this life and the next. They think God loves them but condemns everyone else. We've all met or read about folks like that.
    A more faithful - and Episcopalian - response to the mixed messages and anxiety is to forsake attempts at certainty in favor of a trust, a trust which develops over the years and decades of living with and testing God. A woman and man take a leap of faith when they marry, and for the fortunate ones that leap of faith grows into a deep trust over time. A part of that trust is knowing that, while we cannot read our spouses' minds 100 percent of the time and occasionally they may cause us pain, that's OK, because we've found them very trustworthy overall.
    So for Lent, I suggest the following: Keep remembering that God has said "Yes!" to us on the first Easter and in every Eucharist and in many personal moments. Then, take a moment to say "Yes!" to God, and wait to see what comes to mind.¹
    How about sticking a note, "Say 'Yes!' to God," somewhere where you will see it regularly?

• Clergy Overseer, Fr. John Allen, 524-8070 or cavecanem@metrocast.net (For confidential assistance - pastoral care, hospital visitation, weddings, baptisms, funerals, or any other special need.)
• Senior Warden, Vestry, Chris Porter, 435-7565 or nhkudzu@aol.com (For general Parish questions and assistance and supply clergy coordination.)
• Junior Warden, Vestry, Yvonne Loomis, 776-0284 or yloomis@manchesternh.gov (For general Parish questions and assistance.)
• Consultative Council Team (for general Refresher Leave updates and information): Fr. John Allen, Chris Porter, Yvonne Loomis, as above, or:
  • Joe Knox 463-5574 or janmknox@metrocast.net
  • Lucinda Kerivan, 664-9200 or mikemcc@worldpath.net
  • Betty Whinn, 776-3821 or whinnse@worldpath.net

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Brotherhood of St. Andrew

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